Elevator Rant

Dear fellow elevator users,

I know, elevators are hard.  How do you know whether the elevator is going up or down?  Well, I will tell you.  Let’s say you’re on the fourth floor because, well, a lot of you are.  So, you’re on the fourth floor and push the elevator “down” button.  You want to go down to the second floor cafeteria.  Yum.  So, you push the down arrow and it lights up.  Then, a few minutes later, the elevator appears and the doors open.  Now, I know that this particular elevator isn’t all that smart so it doesn’t say “Fourth floor.  Going down.”or “Fourth floor.  Going up.”, but here is a little secret….if the elevator comes and the down button that you pushed is still lit, the elevator is going up.  If the elevator comes and the down button is no longer lit, well then, get on, the elevator is going down!  Now, if the elevator comes and the down button is still lit, but you STILL get on, guess what…you’re going up.  Then, when you go up to the…oh, lets say sixth floor, the people getting on at the sixth floor know that you rode the elevator up.  Then, when the elevator stops on the way down at the fourth floor, because YOU pressed the “down” button from the fourth floor, they’re going to think you are a moron.  PEOPLE!….when the elevator doors open, there is no need to ask, “up or down?”, just look at the button you pushed!  If the button you pushed is no longer lit, step on it.  If the button you pushed is still lit…step back, let others get on/off the elevator, and wait until the elevator comes back for you because, even if you get on when the button you pushed is still lit, the elevator is going to stop at your floor again.  It’s not rocket-science people.

Further, keep the elevator chit chat to a minimum.  I do not know you.  I do not know your friend.  Thus, while you may be curious about your friend’s sexual encounters, I DO NOT CARE.  However, if it must be discussed in the elevator, please keep it down.  Other people may also want to have a conversation that others do not care about.

Lastly, it is customary to let people off the elevator before trying to get on.  Are you really THAT anxious to get to the cafeteria that you cannot wait to get on the elevator?  I mean, the food is not THAT great!  Have some patience, avoid the collision, and wait for people to get off before trying to get on.

Sincerely,

Me

 

Marissa Sweet

Marissa Sweet wrote 85 posts

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