Why I Hate A Christmas Story

A Christmas Story is a Christmastime staple.  You can’t help but watch it at least once when it plays for 24 hrs. on Christmas Day.  However, I must confess, I hate this movie.  The kids drive me nuts!  Here are my top 5 reasons why:

          5.    Randy, eat your food like a normal human being, not a pig.  If you don’t want to eat like a normal child, you can go to bed without dinner.  You’re a human…act like it!  You wanna be a piggy you can sleep outside in a dirty pen!

          4.    Randy, use the bathroom BEFORE you put on your snowsuit.  I mean, this really isn’t Randy’s fault, its Mom’s.  She should have known to ask him if he had to use the bathroom before she bundled him up.  But WHY does she feel the need to bundle him up to the point he can’t put his arms down?  I mean, Ralphie isn’t bundled up like that.  Doesn’t she care about Ralphie?  And Randy, stop whining about not being able to put your arms down.  What do you need to put your arms down for?

          3.    Ralphie, don’t be a liar/tattler.  Schwartz didn’t teach you that bad word, your dad did.  You know it and your parents know it.  You were too chicken to say it though so, instead, you blame it on your poor friend.  If I were Schwarz I would have passed the beating I got along to you.  Some friend Ralphie is!

          2.    Enough with the fantasies!  Ralphie, soap will not make you blind.  Come on! *eye roll*

And the number one reason I hate A Christmas Story is…..

          1.    He shoots his eye out!  Are you kidding me?!?  After of all that whining and begging for a BB gun and after everyone told him no because he would shoot his eye out, what does he do?  HE SHOOTS HIS EYE OUT! (Kinda).   I mean, Dad, what are you thinking giving a kid a gun and not showing him how to use it?!?  You are the definition of an irresponsible parent.  And Ralphie, are you kidding me?  It’s a gun!  You have been warned you could shoot your eye out!  Don’t you think maybe you should be a little more careful?!?  Unreal. 

What are your thoughts?  Do you love it? Hate? Or don’t you care?

Marissa Sweet

Marissa Sweet wrote 85 posts

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